Team Fortress 2 Sprays

About two years ago, I posted a list of usernames from The Playstation network that I found amusing. They were culled from the records on my PS3 while playing Team Fortress 2. Since then, I've purchased a new computer and purchased the PC version of the game. Far better than the PS3 version, as the PC version has:

• Enough updates and added content (free!) to create a whole second game
• More users than the 10 people that played on the PSN
• Developers that didn't implement to half-ass security

I wanted to do a second post like that one from two years ago, but Steam doesn't save all the people that I meet in a single place the way that the PS3 does. Then Valve added a feature where you take screen shots in any Steam-enabled game by pressing F12, and I thought that all of the fun little sprays that people use in game would be even more entertaining.

BTW, for the uninitiated, a "spray" is a little .jpg image that you can post on a wall with a press of a button. Originally used (I guess) for tactical marking of way points or spots of interest, now they are primarily used to for humorous purposes.

Or Pornography. Lot's of T&A sprays too. Or shock images. When a game that has any online modes at all, the ESRB rating will be marked with an asterisk and a note that says "Online Interactions Not Rated". That's basically their way of saying "Look, the studio didn't add any sexual content to this game, but we can't stop people from showing you a screen grab of Two Girls One Cup, or from reading Scat-Porn featuring the cast of the Super Mario Games."

And yes, the latter had actually happened to me before. Some things you just can't unhear.

Anyway, Instead of posting them all here, I'm just going to send you to Flickr, where I've saved and commented on some of the better ones:

Team Fortress 2 Sprays

And don't worry, it should be clean enough for all but the most sensitive among us. The kind that think that extra mild salsa is a good idea. No shock images, no boobs.

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Well, maybe some boobs:

One Hour Away from Natural Beauty

My sister came to visit this weekend, so we took a trip to the Flaming Gorge Recreation Area and did some sight seeing.

And what fine sights they were!

This is about 55 miles south of me, and it's friggin sweet. You're better off clicking that and viewing the whole picture. It's purty.

Busted Stuff

Just because I signed on with the hivemind doesn't mean I'm abandoning this place!

So, I'm moved it, I have mah Internets back, and my sister is in town for a weekend. Hooray! But that means I'm too busy to post much, but I expect by the end of next week, things will have settled down some. In the meantime, lets take a look at my busted car that's getting repaired this week:

Great stuff! It'll take the better part of a week to fix, but the insurance company will be paying for a rental car durning that time.

Birds are Stupid

At the Laundromat today, I encountered a bird that had found the one open window to get inside, but was utterly baffled on how to get back out. Not wanting the bird to die of starvation inside a laudromat (an awful place for any creature to die), I opened the door and attempted to shoo it back outside.

Ah, but birds aren't built for reasoning things out. This one relentlessly darted for the same pane of glass several times, as it appeared to be the biggest portal to the outdoors. So I'm standing there yelling at the thing: "That's right, go for the door- no, not the- *thwack* dammit!" after it thuds to the ground, it just sits there for a few minutes, stunned, as I walk over to see if it sustained any fatal injuries.

Dramatized Bird Thoughts:

"The two-legger is approaching, flee, flee! Ah ha! An exit! Freedom! Faster! *WHAM* Uh... the two legger must have set up a trap or something... soooo woosy... Oh no, it's coming back! Am I going to die? What's it holding over my head?" (note: it was my phone in camera mode)

I recieved a phone call from a friend of mine, so I told him about the incarnation of stupid on wings, and he told me to toss a shirt over it, and scoop it up and carry it outside. Good idea, so I finally set the terrified bird outside, and joined its buddies across the street at the bird feeder. He's probably warning them of the cave with the invisible barriers, and the two legged giants that chase the birdies around for their own sick pleasure.

Stupid Bird.

Not Really Seafood

A coworker, his family and myself went to dinner at the new BBQ place in town. Pretty good ribs and brisket.

So guess what we had for an appetizer?

Rocky Mountain Oysters. Hereby moving Raw Oysters (real seafood) down to the number 2 spot on the list of "Strangest things I've ever eaten."

They tasted alright, but it's difficult to get over the fact that you got the gonads of a ruminant in your mouth.

Again that's bovine testicles.

In your mouth.

Moo!

Independence Day in Steamboat Springs

So, back in 1997 or so, some of my family's friends moved from Western Pennsylvania to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Back then, it might have well been Mars, for the other side of the country seemed like a strange and dangerous place. And it was SOOOO FAR AWAY!

Ten years later, I make a move of my own and end up a mere 4.5 hour drive away. In western traveling time, that adjusts down to about two hours. My parents mention my relocation in the Chirstmas Card Letter and and a few days later I get a call from these folks, saying they'd love for me to visit. Between my job, my life, and my total lack of vacation time, I'm unable to make the time for the first year. This year, I take advantage of the long holiday weekend and go for a drive to visit Jennifer, Mike, Jaquie, and Leah.

Five hours later, I pull into town. Pretty place, but it has that snooty feeling, like it's crawling with White People. I think it was mostly from the tourists and Granola munchers, though. I then pull in to look upon people I haven't seen in a long time. Most of them haven't changed much, except for the total assimlation into Western Life. Jaquie's a Registered Nurse working the graveyard shift at the Steamboat Hospital, Mike's an Engineer for the Peabody Mining Corp., Jennifer works part time at the local school and runs a few church and/or social events, and Leah has been working the past three summers at the local ampitheater's box office. Seeing her again was a little akward, because she's sixteen years old now, and the last time I saw her, she was two. I feel old.

So did I spend my weekend?

Shopping at F.M. Light!

Hey, did that banner say "Free Rodeo Tickets?" Sweet! Let's go!

Cool. Next time I attend one, I'll be able use the old figure of speech "This ain't my first Rodeo!"

So how do you top that? I dunno, how about we watch the Rancher's drive the Cattle right down Friggin' Main Street? (In this case, Main Street is Lincoln Ave., but has the same significance). This is how we roll out here.

So there you have it folks! There's a lot more pictures from my trip at Flickr, and don't miss the Baggs, Wyoming Pit Stop!

I love the west a little more each week. Happy Trails!

My Independence Day Weekend

Two major weekend trips in a row! My inheirited aversion to travel is reeling, and I hope at this rate will that it'll be pronounced dead by the end of next summer! I'm still captioning and uploading pictures (and there are A LOT of picutres), so I'm not going into grand detail just yet. But the short version is that I was visiting family friends, other Pittsburgh Ex-pats, that have made the move west about 10 years prior to me. Here's a quick picture for location identification purposes:

Until then, may you experience the joys of answering the Call of the West!

Condimental Divide

Ketchup vs. Fry Sauce, originally uploaded by Jack Black's Stunt Double.

My first month in Wyoming, me and some coworkers were eating lunch and someone was dipping his fries into a pinkish sludge. I asked him what it was, and he replied "It's Fry Sauce".

My initial thought was to say "Oh, we had that back in Pittsburgh, but it was redder, and we called it 'ketchup'." but instead I asked him if it was any good, and he gave me a taste.

I was underwhelmed. It wasn't bad, but it was no alternitive to ketchup. I might be biased, because the Heinz factory is in Pittsburgh, but when I want sauce on my fries, I reach for the red stuff. Anyway, I was in Ogden, UT on a pleasure trip and on the way home, I decided to stop into one of those Arctic Circle restaurants that the Utah natives keep taking about.

Arctic Circle is pretty much like a Dairy Queen Brazier store. Like DQ, they have burgers that are better than those of most fast food places. Unlike DQ, these guys claim to have invented Fry Sauce. Admittedly, the stuff in Arctic Circle did taste a lot better than the little condiment tubs from the Grocery Store Deli, but again, the greatest strike against it is that it dilutes perfectly good ketchup with Mayo.

I think it's one of those Utah things that just can't get any traction outside of the West. I've never heard of this stuff until I moved out to Wyoming, and I think if I asked for it in any restaurant back home, the staff would just give a confused look (I'll have to try that next time I'm home).

Vampire Turkeys?

Vampire Turkeys?, originally uploaded by Jack Black's Stunt Double.

Born on Thanksgiving Day in 1865, Dr. Plymouth Van Helsing has made it his life's work to erradicate meanace of Transylvanian Poultry.

Road Trip

So, after we get the kids all married off, (on Friday the 13th, for extra style points!) we head down to Yuma, AZ. The desert is pretty, in a hostile, oppressive kinda way. All the flora is pointy, and the fauna is venomous or carnivorous.

We met up with Jim's wife at the local chapter of the Elk's Lodge and met some of his old time friends. Fun crowd. A lot of older folks with a laid back attitude, a quick wit, and in many cases, own large swaths of the town.

The next day, we parked at the boarder, and strolled into Algodones, Mexico. The town is one part tourist trap, one part trading post, one part Optical and Dental capital of Mexico.

After a few Margaritas and some shopping, we took off for the day. I looked for some authentic trinket of Mexican culture that I could bring home. Meaning not a refrigerator magnet, and not a trunk full of guys who'll paint my house for 5 bucks. So what did I find?

Awesomeness. THAT'S what I found.

Also, Jim's wife, Cheri, picked up a wedding cake for the newlyweds. There was indeed smeary frosting action, as is tradition.

Sunday, We went on a driving tour of Yuma, and I learned how to play a Dart Game called 301. Quick Rules: You start with 301 points, and have to reduce that score to exactly zero, by landing darts on the marked scoring area. Aside from the difficultly of getting your score exact, you need to hit the doubling ring (a narrow area, if you've ever seen a dart board) on both your first score and your last.

The last day was a 14 hour drive back to Cold Country. We had lunch at a little cafe on an Indian Reservation. Part of the advantage to doing shopping in a place that the government doesn't tread is Tax Free Cigarettes and Liquor. Not to mention picking up a bottle of something difficult to find...

And that's about it. You can view the pictures at your leisure.

Road Trip Day One: Wyoming to Las Vegas

We left Thursday at Noon, and headed south on I-15. Winter attempted to hinder our driving, as did the Utards. As the snow started to stick to the roads, we blew past the folks in the slow lane, going 70-80 MPH in the snow. By what authority? The Wyoming License plates we were sporting. By what means? By the super grippy snow tires on Jim's truck.

About 10:30 local time, we pulled into Vegas and crashed at Sam's Town. Becuase our rooms were so cheap, we decied to donate a little money to them via the casino. I played a few table games, scratching one more line item off of the list of things I always wanted to do.

I just don't like slots. I think it's the thought of feeding money into a machine waiting for it to run it's calulation of when it's allowed to maybe give you an astronomical chance of getting paying out. I like to gamble on things that I can kinda sorta affect the outcome of. Even if it's as simple as choosing whether or not to taking a hit on a hand of blackjack. I'll put a little money into a Video poker machine as a time waster, but that's about it for electronic gambling.

Anyway, the following morning, we got my coworkers Johnny and Meagan all dressed up and to the Chapel of the Flowers for their nuptial.

They asked us not to take photographs during the ceremony, mostly to avoid getting in the way of their professionals, so for more pictures, you'll have to go to the chapels website.

Before we left Sam's Town, one of my friends back home asked me to pick up some of those iconic red dice for him, so I made a fast run to the gift shop. Hope you like them.

More tomorrow, I spend most of the night tagging, titling and captioning my pictures.

Victory - We Has It!

Superbowl XLIII Breakdown:

First Team to win six Superbowls - Pittsburgh Steelers
Longest Returned Interception in Super Bowl History - James Harrison for 100 Yards
Most Epic Choke - Thowing an interception on the opponent's 1-yard line, resulting in the above mentioned return.

Total Yards:
Pittsburgh - 292
Arizona - 407

Penalties:
Pittsburgh - 7
Arizona - 11

Amount of Money I won in the Football Pool - $250
Amount of Money I lost - 2 bets of $5 each to coworkers. (Pittsburgh didn't beat the 7 point spread)
Net Gain -220 ( 250 - 20 in the pool - 10 to my coworkers)

Total Bullets sweated out by fans on both sides - 253,476
Cries of Grief - Approximately 6.5 million

Summary: The Cardinals' Offense overran our Defense, and certainly could have pulled it off, but in the end, made a lot of mistakes and penalties, and proceeded to choke.

Best anecdote from the night:
{After an interception by Pittsburgh was ruled as an incomplete on review}
Jim: *smugly* Sorry. :-)
Me: So instead of a turnover, you're on 4th and 6 on your own 35. You DO realize that you're just gloating over the fact that you suck less than was previously thought, right?
(Note: Jim is from Yuma, Arizona, and was able to provided me with a real home team vs. home team rivalry)

Best Pun: (From former coworker) I was really hoping Arizona would win, but it looks like it just wasn't in the Cards.

And now... a victory pose!

It's French, or Something

Until about a year before I moved, I haddn't realized how difficult it is to pronounce the name of one of the local towns. I guess the French name or something might make it seem like a quaint classy place, until you walk within it's city limits and see the Ghetto-ness for one's self.

So we got on the topic of difficult to pronounce locations in Pennsylvania, and this one came up. I decided to put it to the test. out of the 10-15 or so people within or around the department, Only one person got it correct (apparently, there's a town with the same name in Iowa).

Most people pronouced it [Doo-SHANE], which is a city in Utah. Most of the people who read this blog know how it's pronouced, but if you don't, you can click the picture to get to Carla's whiteboard for the solution.

Trailblazing Flora

This nifty little flower grows about two feet from the front of my porch, as if to challenge me.

"Yeah, that's right. You didn't plant me, or even water me, but I grow here anyway. Wanna do something about it? I don't think you have the cajones, pal!"

The red and yellow coloring reminds me of one of them Fire Flowers from Super Mario Brothers. That's right, even the sight of nature marching onto my turf reminds me of classic Nintendo games. I'm still a geek, regardless of where I live.

Gone Fishin'

Yesterday, I figured it was about time that I did something outdoorsy, seeing how that's the major attraction out here. One of the safety guy's family (Jim W) owns a large patch of land in Robertson and invited one of the Engineers (Jim M) and myself out there to do some fly fishing with him and his son.

Now I haven't held a rod since my dad and a friend from church went to the Lake in Cannonsburg PA in the early 90's, and that was lake fishing, which is entirely different. Lake fishing (I won't tell you what Jim W referred to it as) you cast off, sit down, wait and enjoy the peace and quiet. In fly fishing, you hunt down the fishes, find their favorite hiding spot and simulate a fly zipping around the water in the hopes that he'll find it tasty.

I was a little sloppy at first, but I did manage to have a little 2-incher visibly follow my fly for a few feet, nipping at it. I couldn't help but interject with the obligatory "Om nom nom nom!"

You have to perfect the technique a bit, because the fish sorta know when the food doesn't look right. Several times in the day I think fish looked at my fly, saw how unnatural it looked and thought. "Heh. What a n00b!" On the other hand, Jim M has mad fly-skills and caught several of the fish that had me my pegged as a tourist on my first cast.

The best example of that was this one beastly sized fish that broke off Jim W's hook in it's mouth. After a few futile attempts by JW to lure him back out, JM decied to try a fly called a "rooster tail" and cast off once. Chomp. We only got a glimpes of this thing before it broke away, but it was quite large.

Yes, this story does include "The One That Got Away."

Ever present in these outdoors adventures, was the threat of being run down by an ornery moose. There was a Mama with her calf stalking around the area, so I stayed nearby Brock (Jim W's son) the whole time in case he had to scare them off with .38 calibur of "Go away." Note, this weapon was only for fireing a warning shot, because this side arm wasn't "take something down" sized, but only "piss it off real bad" size. the other used of it, was incase there was an opportunity to get the bever that was damming up the river and causing a bit of flooding.

We'll proably do it again sometime, so I might invest in a fly rod and waders or something. I was using a borrowed rod from Jim M, and he's only here for a few months before he moves to the Laramie Office. Also, sunscreen, insect repelent, and means of hydration. Very important.

Local History

I took a local field trip over to Fort Bridger on July 4th in order to take in a little local history. The Ultra Condensed version is this:

First it was a Mormon camp on the way to Utah, Then it was a frontier trading post (run by Judge William Alexander Carter), then they attached a Fort to it. This all happened between 1840 - 1890. Eventually, most of the buildings were sold and hauled off, but a few hung around and became tourist traps.

Here's the pictures. Enjoy!

Happy Independence Day

Hope you're all having a happy 4th. I'll have a major Flickr Update later, but here's a teaser.

Phone Book

When a person needs to express girth or unwieldiness of a document you might hear that person utter something akin to "It was as thick as a phone book!

I'm not impressed.

I Totally Thought of it First!

I had this great idea for a board game. Sort of a party game where everyone gets a fist full of various dice. These dice would be rolled in order to simulate a combat system sometimes, or try to roll certain numbers to accomplish goals that vary from scoring points, or gaining/loseing dice to roll in order to win. I haddn't worked out all the details, but essientially, the game would just be a vehicle for rolling fistfuls of dice. I thought it was clever.

But darn it all, if somebody else didn't think of it first!

Back to my day job, then.

Harold and Kumar Skip This One

The story as I understand it, when my mother was pregnant with me, she had occasional cravings for Krystal Burgers. For those that don't know, Krystal Burger is a White Castle wannabe fast food joint that found in the Southern States. I came across one at the Atlanta Airport, so I decided to bring this thing full circle and get lunch here.

C'mon, Mom, I know you have better standards than this! Ok, it wasn't bad, but still no White Castle. The chili-fries could have been better, too.

BONUS FACT: When Mom was pregnant with my sister, she had a passion for roller coasters. Yeah, they don't want you doing that kinda stuff when expecting a child these days.