Sunday, December 28, 2008

A Console for Pirated Games

I trust everyone's Christmas has been joyful. Things are still a bit tense around here, but I've been successfully keeping in fairly good humor most of the time.

So, let's discuss a Christmas gift that I received from one of my good friends back home. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you...

Happy Game Playing Penguin by Day...

POWERGAMES: The game system with 111 sloppily pirated Nintendo ROMs, featuring heavily vandalized title screens!

So the box is completely devoid of any information regarding the manufacturer, the distributor, or anyone connected to the existence of this product, save for a "Made in China" label. Seems prudent to me, because if anyone claimed responsibility for this Pirate's booty, about every major game studio and publisher would send an army of lawyers after them, bearing Copyright Infringment suits against them for selling a console with a strangely familiar game called Space Hospital.

There's a cartridge that is inserted where the penguin's spinal column would go, and it plays 111 games, most of which have been ripped from a stack of Nintendo Carts, had their title screens altered in a half-assed fashion, and then stuck in onto that cart, regardless of quality. I am convinced that some of these games were projects rejected by publishers because they sucked. There's Flash games that have been playtested more extensivly than some of these ones. But there are some worth playing, such as Dr. Mario- oops, I meant Space Hosptial, two or three of the 15 or so Ninja Themed games, about 20 kinds of shooter (I likes me some space shooters!), and a handful of classic titles.

One of the Games, called "Clay Shooting" on the menu list, is just Game Mode C from Duck Hunt lifted clean. There's also Popeye, and a game that the manufacture will neither confirm nor deny is called "Super Mario Bros."

But the best part of all, the penguin's eyes are red LEDs that serve as power indicators. So when night falls, I perform the ritual of setting up a pentegram fashioned from broken NES games and controlers, light the 14 candles of Endbringing and SUMMON THE DEMON PENGUIN FROM THE DEPTHS OF ANT-ARCADIA, THE FROZEN GAME HELL!! RAWR!!

...Evil Soul Devouring Demon Penguin By Night!
Fear the Penguin!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

We have no further comment at this time.

Sorry for light posting this month, but the only happenings of note recently involve my employer, and my employer is something I try to avoid talking about a whole lot on this blog, especially when they are going through a period of unrest.

For those of you who may be concerned about my status, just know, that I have good reason to believe that I, along with my most of my department, will dodge the worst of it, and I thank God, my Lucky Stars, and my Lucky Charms (with all their marshmallowy goodness) that I don't work in a certain other department.

And even if the excrement does impact the fan, I have already done the math to confirm that I'll be OK for a while.

Sadly, that computer is going to have to wait at least a few more months. Caution is the better part of Valor.

Friday, December 12, 2008


You know you've been at work for TOO LONG when you try to look up Magic: The Gathering on eBay and catch your self starting to type into the search box:

where itemDescription like '%Magic the gathering%'

What a week.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Food as Art

My sister has been gushing the joys of bento recently, while I've been playing Katamari Damacy. And then just today, this image appeared rather punctually on my monitor.

Scattershot Post - Weekend Activities

Sorry for the lack of posting, but work has been keeping me especially busy with difficult tasks and aggressive deadlines, but I just wanted you all to know I'm not dead or anything. So I'll just leave you with a short post on what I've been doing on weekends.

  • I've been doing a little freelance work helping the King of the Cosmos rebuild the heavens by rolling all of the assorted junk on earth into spheres akin to large popcorn balls and throwing them into the sky.
  • With the help of Karaoke master, Dr. Winston McCool (not his real name, obviously), I've learned that I can sing a Bob Dylan tune dead on.
  • One of my esteemed colleges has lent to me his three seasons of Deadwood on DVD. Despite success and critical acclaim, the show only lasted for three seasons due to the incredible production costs of making all of the sets and costumes authentic. It's a clever show, despite heave use of the Carlin Seven, especially number five, which is every character's favorite name to call somebody.
Hope to have more soon, maybe expanding on the subtleties of Karaoke. Until then, Good Day.