Saturday, June 21, 2008

Death and Burial

Yesterday at lunch, some coworkers were discussing how they wanted to die, which led to how they wanted to be burried. One of them is considering burial at sea, an option for those who spent a certain number of years in any branch of the armed services, not just the Navy. The macarbe fact is that they don't let the family on board the boat when they go out to dispose of you. This is becuase there's a chance that your body doesn't sink when you get tossed in the drink, and if that happens, the usual way they get you to sink is to fill your body with small lead weights, inserted into your corpse via a special insertion device. In other words, they shoot at you from the deck until your full of enough bullets to drop, and the servicemen don't want to deal with hysterical shrieking widows as they take aim.

One woman wants to be creamated. Nothing unusual there until she told us what she wants done with the ashes. They are to be divided up and mixed with ground black pepper into pepper shakers, which will be distibuted at truckstops all across America.

She gets a 10, both for style, and creepiness.

3 comments:

Laedelas Greenleaf said...

Nice. What about your plans?

I want to donate whatever organs may still be in health, and the rest goes to science. Cadaver lab, here I come!

Fuzzy said...

I never gave it much thought, but Strong Bad's Suggestions still appeal to me.

As for the Cadaver lab, I'd only do that if I could somehow arrange to have extra organs installed before they open me up for scieneing.

"Dr. Artwald, Why does the subject have a third lung, four hearts, one of them obviously a cows heart, 2 spleens, and... a set of overies??"

Plazmalamp said...

the only real plans I have for during my viewing is to have a tape recorder under my head saying stuff like, "Hey good to see you again" "Thanks for coming" and "GIVE THAT BACK I'M NOT DONE WITH THAT YET"