Thursday, November 15, 2007

Ninja Co-workers

One of my co-workers knows several of the more deadly marshal arts, including Tai-Chi, Nin-Ji-Tsu, and, um, Kung-Pao or Tu-Wong-Fu, or something. Anyway, he could break anyone within arms reach with a deft twist of his wrist. He mention that he was going to teach a class here in the Valley, and mentioned self-defense without kicking, punching, or otherwise striking an attacker. I asked what one does without striking an opponent, and being a hands-on kind of guy, he gave me a demonstration. These are the words that make me apprehensive of friends who master the Arts:

"Move towards me, and make like your trying to grab me."

Yeah, I've heard that before. All he had to tell me was, "I defend myself by making your parts bend the wrong way," but I got a real taste. Turn this, squeeze that, and you'll have any attacker on his knees begging for quarter in a moment. This works against any person who comes at you with fists or a melee weapon.

But up against a person who has a gun trained on you (from at least 10 yards away)? "Know when to yield. God made all men, but Saumuel Colt made all men equal. My co-worker also mentioned an easy way to counter one of those Tai-Chi artsy side-kicks. Just grab the leg like you would normally, and perform the technique called "Monkey Grabs a Peach."

I'll leave that one to your imagination.


Laedelas Greenleaf said...

Kung Pao chicken?

My dad studied Nin Ji Tsu for a while once...he used to come home and use that infamous phrase, too. "Hey, wanna see what I learned? Grab my shoulder."

Are you planning to take this class? 'Twould seem interesting!

Fuzzy said...

Maybe I will. Dunno. It seems that it's only useful if you train yourself to react fast enough to an attacker; it needs to be pretty much a natural reaction in order to take someone down.

And I'm a lazy man.