Birds are Stupid

At the Laundromat today, I encountered a bird that had found the one open window to get inside, but was utterly baffled on how to get back out. Not wanting the bird to die of starvation inside a laudromat (an awful place for any creature to die), I opened the door and attempted to shoo it back outside.

Ah, but birds aren't built for reasoning things out. This one relentlessly darted for the same pane of glass several times, as it appeared to be the biggest portal to the outdoors. So I'm standing there yelling at the thing: "That's right, go for the door- no, not the- *thwack* dammit!" after it thuds to the ground, it just sits there for a few minutes, stunned, as I walk over to see if it sustained any fatal injuries.

Dramatized Bird Thoughts:

"The two-legger is approaching, flee, flee! Ah ha! An exit! Freedom! Faster! *WHAM* Uh... the two legger must have set up a trap or something... soooo woosy... Oh no, it's coming back! Am I going to die? What's it holding over my head?" (note: it was my phone in camera mode)

I recieved a phone call from a friend of mine, so I told him about the incarnation of stupid on wings, and he told me to toss a shirt over it, and scoop it up and carry it outside. Good idea, so I finally set the terrified bird outside, and joined its buddies across the street at the bird feeder. He's probably warning them of the cave with the invisible barriers, and the two legged giants that chase the birdies around for their own sick pleasure.

Stupid Bird.