Condimental Divide, Part 2

Last year, I discussed the culinary abomination of Fry Sauce, which is beloved by the Philistines in Utah. I was convinced that this was the dirtiest thing one could do with ketuchup.

Oh, how I wish it only went as far that.

Yesterday, I'm back in Ogden indulging in my games again, when I go for a dinner break between matches. I finally find a decent Chinese restaurant that serves good Hot and Sour soup, and good egg rolls, which I get on the side of some Orange Chicken. (mmm... MSG... so good). I sit down and unpack the paper bag with my food, and inspect the condiments. "Soy sauce... hot mustard... Ketchup?!" In all my years, I have never seen ketchup distributed at Chinese restaurants. Ever. So I bring it up to my fellow gamers, asking rhetorically, "Heh. Why the heck would they give me ketchup packets with my Chinese food?"

"Oh, they put those in there when people started complaining they didn't have any ketchup to put on their Kung Pao Chicken." The response was immediate as it was terrifying. He just said that, like it was the most natural thing. Just like putting it on tater tots or hot dogs.

Ketchup on Kung Pao Chicken. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

Something is just terribly wrong with Utah. I now have evidence. For my part, I'm going to do my best to turn society against the abuse of both ketchup and Chinese food. Now, when I find something to be irregular, peculiar, or other wise not quite right, instead of saying that it's "queerer than than a 16 dollar bill" I will now say "queerer than ketchup on Kung Pao".

Seriously. Eww.

Odd-io

Some of the most weird, yet strangely beautiful things I have ever had the pleasure to listen too:

Freak on a Leash (acoustic) - Korn feat. Amy Lee of Evanescence
System of a Down's Lyrics to the Legend of Zelda Theme
Bluegrass tributes to Just About Anyone.
Anything by Richard Cheese

and most recently...

Seether covering... Careless Whisper by Wham! (?!?!)

Why Don't the States Have Something This Sweet?

So, after bouncing around YouTube after watching that Haddaway video from a previous post, I ran into, and rediscovered this Techno-Euro-Pop band: Aqua.

Most of you know them from their One Hit that made them Wonderous, Barbie Girl. But they also put out several other videos where they turned the following all the way up: Camp, Cheese, and Color Staturation (on the Video editing equipment), and generally have the apperance of a vomitorium for rainbows*. Come, and view a sample of the painful awesomeness they have to offer!

First, a pirate adventure called My Oh My. Yar, Har Fidddle dee dee!


Next, a tale of love and adventure in the Depths of the Amazon Jungle, as well as a thinly vieled reference to certain intellectual Property of the same last name. Wake up now, Dr. Jones!

(As silly as it is, I think that it's still more Entertaining than Indy 4.)

Now an epic space opera adventure where... um... I really don't know. But it has candy. And aliens. Here's Lollipop.



Hope they bring smiles. Enjoy!

*PS: Vomiting Rainbows are just one more of the wonderous things that the vastness of the Internets have to offer!

Um... huh?

Atheism: ur doin it rong!

Death and Burial

Yesterday at lunch, some coworkers were discussing how they wanted to die, which led to how they wanted to be burried. One of them is considering burial at sea, an option for those who spent a certain number of years in any branch of the armed services, not just the Navy. The macarbe fact is that they don't let the family on board the boat when they go out to dispose of you. This is becuase there's a chance that your body doesn't sink when you get tossed in the drink, and if that happens, the usual way they get you to sink is to fill your body with small lead weights, inserted into your corpse via a special insertion device. In other words, they shoot at you from the deck until your full of enough bullets to drop, and the servicemen don't want to deal with hysterical shrieking widows as they take aim.

One woman wants to be creamated. Nothing unusual there until she told us what she wants done with the ashes. They are to be divided up and mixed with ground black pepper into pepper shakers, which will be distibuted at truckstops all across America.

She gets a 10, both for style, and creepiness.

Seen at the Grocery Store

I was gonna leave a witty remark or two, but you know what? Not worth it. Caption it in the comments if you want, but I'm done here.




ok, fine click the picture for one teeny, tiny wise-ass comment...